It is better and there's definitely more of a feeling that he's being bullied here, but I'm not sure if it's enough. I'm not sure if all the sequences work now either, but let me know what you think! :)
REALLY like that new opening wall idea and the first transition from the side view to the top view - that is a really economic, really imaginative switch and it works very nicely indeed. I'm not sure about the 'spiral sequence' that follows directly, because it feels rather passive now, as if he's just negotiating a maze, as opposed to the maze 'happening' to him? Likewise - the scene at around 26 secs - the top view of him walking across the terrain - again feels 'flat' - it may simply be that what I'm seeing as pre-viz, you're seeing more dynamically and completely - I just can't read this at the moment or feel the battle. Is he jumping onto those white islands - with the black like a chasm? The scenes with the prison bars etc - these too just feel as if he's travelling, not reacting. You might want to consider creating new versions of these, but perhaps considering close-ups of his face as he gets 'locked in' by the black bars. I think the fact that you're keeping every scene as a mid or long distance shot might need thinking about. The transition however, from the total black, to him pushing up the 'blind' is another great transition and your ending works.
I think you may need to throw out some of that footage you've made yourself, and consider some of those inbetween sequences a-fresh - it seems to me that the moment you reconsidered the opening bit, which required you to create new animatic footage, the more effective things became. You may need to throw some stuff out in order to nail this - but don't think of it as time-wasted. Getting this animatic right is key.
Thanks Phil! I agree totally, I noticed that the new footage was more effective than the old stuff. It wasn't really helped by certain elements of it being more dynamic in my head than they are in the pre-viz (like you said, he is supposed to be jumping between the white islands with the black as more of a chasm).
I'll go back and really think about what it is that's supposed to be happening to him in each scene and I'll make it in the same way I did the newer footage. That way it'll not only be easier for a viewer to understand but for me too :)
Evening Molly,
ReplyDeleteREALLY like that new opening wall idea and the first transition from the side view to the top view - that is a really economic, really imaginative switch and it works very nicely indeed. I'm not sure about the 'spiral sequence' that follows directly, because it feels rather passive now, as if he's just negotiating a maze, as opposed to the maze 'happening' to him? Likewise - the scene at around 26 secs - the top view of him walking across the terrain - again feels 'flat' - it may simply be that what I'm seeing as pre-viz, you're seeing more dynamically and completely - I just can't read this at the moment or feel the battle. Is he jumping onto those white islands - with the black like a chasm? The scenes with the prison bars etc - these too just feel as if he's travelling, not reacting. You might want to consider creating new versions of these, but perhaps considering close-ups of his face as he gets 'locked in' by the black bars. I think the fact that you're keeping every scene as a mid or long distance shot might need thinking about. The transition however, from the total black, to him pushing up the 'blind' is another great transition and your ending works.
I think you may need to throw out some of that footage you've made yourself, and consider some of those inbetween sequences a-fresh - it seems to me that the moment you reconsidered the opening bit, which required you to create new animatic footage, the more effective things became. You may need to throw some stuff out in order to nail this - but don't think of it as time-wasted. Getting this animatic right is key.
Onwards Molly :)
Thanks Phil! I agree totally, I noticed that the new footage was more effective than the old stuff. It wasn't really helped by certain elements of it being more dynamic in my head than they are in the pre-viz (like you said, he is supposed to be jumping between the white islands with the black as more of a chasm).
DeleteI'll go back and really think about what it is that's supposed to be happening to him in each scene and I'll make it in the same way I did the newer footage. That way it'll not only be easier for a viewer to understand but for me too :)