Thursday, 17 February 2011

Tweaked Documents and a Script...

The treatment Fixed

My first attempt at a script:
A Chef and His Princess

Character Bios New


  1. Hey Molly,

    You are absolutely just about there - I loved the detail with the chef seeing the balloon float up past the tower - foreshadowing his plan. Just 2 teeny weeny further suggestions. The first is that, when you describe the kitchen interior, you talk about electricity and Victorian ovens - but this has always bothered me, because it doesn't seem logical in terms of the broad conventions of your story - i.e. a kind of Gothic medievalism - so, much earlier than electricity or Victorian Gothic...

    Secondly (and finally!) -in Act 3, when the princess embraces the chef, you should use this moment to show the audience (and the princess and the chef) that there are armed guards streaming into the tower - by a shot from the princesses point of view, looking down past the chef's feet and at the base of the tower, into which a line of guards are filtering. It will add additional urgency, and also mean that the sound effects of the guards on the stairs will make complete sense to the audience.

    Thirdly (I know, I know) I wonder if the princess's leap of faith might work nicely if it were to play out in slow motion...?

  2. Ooooooo! I like these things! I shall tweak again and hopefully it'll all fit together nicely :D