Molly - I've confused you - or we've confused each other - when you said 3 intercuts, I thought you meant 'another' cut (not the removal of that lovely first one!)
So, I think you should put that very first intercut back in (from the earliest 'new' draft) and then put the intercut you've got here now (view from above) where the second intercut used to be (him running forwards) and then end on the 'new' him running forwards. God, sorry, this is confusing ;
so - yes, 3 intercuts! (sorry!)
original intercut into beginning spiral scene
new aerial view intercut into spiral scene (maybe after 1min 07secs?)
new 'running towards camera/black wall follows' into end of spiral scene
... and the new reaction shots are FAB!
also - the shot at 1 min 07secs - can you make it so the wall is following him - because that fact that it stays still before the shot changes slows down the sense he's being pursued.
Ah - the limits of blogs when trying to be precise - sorry! :) Before you go through all the hassle of redited just drop me another comment confirming you know what the heck I'm talking about! :)
Molly - I've confused you - or we've confused each other - when you said 3 intercuts, I thought you meant 'another' cut (not the removal of that lovely first one!)
ReplyDeleteSo, I think you should put that very first intercut back in (from the earliest 'new' draft) and then put the intercut you've got here now (view from above) where the second intercut used to be (him running forwards) and then end on the 'new' him running forwards. God, sorry, this is confusing ;
so - yes, 3 intercuts! (sorry!)
original intercut into beginning spiral scene
new aerial view intercut into spiral scene (maybe after 1min 07secs?)
new 'running towards camera/black wall follows' into end of spiral scene
... and the new reaction shots are FAB!
also - the shot at 1 min 07secs - can you make it so the wall is following him - because that fact that it stays still before the shot changes slows down the sense he's being pursued.
Ah - the limits of blogs when trying to be precise - sorry! :) Before you go through all the hassle of redited just drop me another comment confirming you know what the heck I'm talking about! :)
Thanks Phil, I did think it was a bit odd to remove the first one, luckily I have an older file I can work with :P
DeleteI'll get the next version up today :)